Chapter
Seventeen - The Wrong Sort of Snow
My job changed at this time, as I went to work for the person I had originally been meant to work for, Linda's subordinate. I had to go to Old Street Station which was actually much easier and more convenient for me and Paul did not expect me to work as late as Linda did, so I had a slightly better time commuting. Well, this would have been the case if that Winter had not been a particularly bad one.
A British Rail official that year made a remark that I believe was reported around the world. He said that the 'wrong sort of snow' was making it difficult for the trains to run properly. Whatever the cause of the railway problems, it certainly made it difficult for me to commute. Some days I did not get to work until about 11 am and then had to leave again at about 3 pm in order to get home at a reasonable time.
It even snowed on the beach in Brighton one day, something that does not normally happen. There were no London trains that morning, so I did what one was supposed to do and walked through a blizzard to report for duty at one of the local BT buildings in Brighton. They seemed astonished and said they did not need me and I could go home so I did, trudging through the snow and walking through the deserted Lanes. I thoroughly enjoyed the day and took photos of the snow-covered beach.
One evening later that week they squashed all us commuters on to a different sort of train and turned the lights out as they said too much power would be consumed by the lights and the train was overcrowded. We were all standing the whole way, the journey took twice as long as usual and I even became quite friendly, chatting with a lady from Lewes who of course I could not see! I began to think that I must seriously try to get a transfer to a local branch of BT.
This took several months to achieve. Personnel Departments were very confusing at that time in BT, there seemed to be so many in various places that at one time I actually did not know which Personnel Department would deal with me. The people I managed to contact were not particularly helpful and it seemed I would have to find a job for myself.
One day when tidying my drawer at work I found a cutting which I had found more than a year before in a BT publication, which mentioned a telephone number in a department in Hove.
I rang the number without much hope and a Sheila Buckingham answered. Amazingly, at that moment there were two clerical vacancies in the Hove Sales office. Sheila was the office manager and secretary to the Level 4 person there. She asked me several questions and I sent her my latest annual report and various other papers. She contacted Personnel and arranged to interview me at her house on a Saturday morning as I was working in London during the week.
I realised very soon that divisions of BT outside London were run much more informally than at Headquarters.
I would never have been interviewed in someone's house over a cup of tea, not for any sort of BT job in London. Sheila had not had the rather rigid training I had been subjected to since my first experience of 'substituting' for a secretary. Sheila, as well as being a secretary, had been promoted to a Level 1 manager, the same level as Janice and Eddie at Gresham Street. However she seemed to have much more authority than they did as they were two among so many.
Sheila said I could start as a telephonist/receptionist as soon as I had
worked out my notice at Old Street, provided my boss was able to replace me and
would let me go.
At that time I did not think there was such a grade as telephonist/receptionist
in London. I would be dropping a level and would also lose the extra London
Weighting money so my salary would go down by about £3,000 per annum. Of course
I would need very little for fares, just for a short bus ride.
One evening I was looking through the local phone book when I suddenly remembered that Jennifer's godmother, the little Shirley and her husband John had moved to the Brighton area. I was quite excited and I found their name in the directory, living just outside Brighton. I phoned up immediately and recognised John's North Country accent and asked to speak to Shirley. Maybe I should have hesitated before ringing or perhaps written first, it was after all about 25 years since I had last spoken to them, but it never occurred to me that she wouldn't remember me at all. She sounded not only surprised but suspicious as if she thought someone was playing a trick on her. She simply did not remember anything about me, Jennifer or my parents, although my mother and Jennifer had often met us for lunch when we worked at Flintkote and both my parents had been invited to Shirley and John's flat in Edgware. Also, they had been to Higham's Park and I had photographs of all these things as well as of the christening itself.
I was amazed and rang off but felt vaguely annoyed. So I photocopied all the photos taken between 1961 and 1964 that we all appeared in and posted it to them, showing my address and phone number at the top. She did ring as soon as she received this communication. She said that she and John thought my face looked vaguely familiar but that was all. I invited them to come and see us one evening in Hove. Jennifer unfortunately could not come but Jenny P did as she was fascinated by the story of the amnesiac godparents.
It was a reasonably pleasant evening, and one good thing came of it. They told me that British Rail would give me a rebate on my season for the day that I was unable to get to work. They had also been unable to reach their jobs. However, I sensed they would never come again. They said how involved they were with various clubs near their home and how busy they were. I sent a Christmas card the next year but realised I was just an embarrassment to them. I wrote and told my mother all about it and she was astonished. She of course was getting on for 90 and yet remembered them clearly.
It took some time to organise my replacement at work. I did not start the new job until the end of June. A younger lady called June who I shall call June R to distinguish her from my friend June from the Chartered Accountants, started in Hove just the week before me. She had once previously been secretary to the Chairman of British Rail, Sir Peter Parker, but had lately been bringing up her two daughters and caring for her husband who had been ill. She now felt the family would be better off if she worked again, so she was glad to get a local job. She was now a grade above me and about twenty years younger than I was. I liked her very much. She showed me how to operate the switchboard on the first day as she had been doing my job in the previous week and in fact she would always be the relief switchboard operator.
It was a lovely building - we were on the fifth floor, looking out over the sea. It was not a BT building with the usual security, passcards and all the things I was used to. BT merely occupied two floors at the top of an ordinary office building. It was like being in a quiet backwater compared to the stresses of my previous jobs in London. I was not expected to make coffee, arrange meetings or order stationery and equipment. I just sat and typed and was charming on the telephone, emulating Ilma's style and manner. At lunch hours I went and sat in Brunswick Square or lay on the grass with the beautiful Regency buildings all around me and the sea straight ahead. Later on, in the Winter, I sat in the comfortable fourth floor kitchen where I could cook a jacket potato in the microwave or heat baked beans.
There was a shift system as the switchboard had to be manned from 8 am until 6 pm. June, Sheila and I worked from 8 am until 4 pm or 10 am until 6 pm. I quite liked being on my own in the office either early or late and even to get in at 8 am was peanuts compared to having to be in Holborn by 8.30 am as had been necessary when working for Linda.
It was a friendly office and several of us went together for a while to a keep fit and dance class locally. I had not been able to do this sort of thing before. Firstly, I had been too exhausted after the stresses of getting home even to Walthamstow and secondly the people one worked with in London did not necessarily live anywhere near each other.
It was lovely being home in time to go to an evening class and for a year I signed on for both tap dancing and art classes. I love tap-dancing and had done quite a bit before in my life. I went to an intermediate class and although very puffed at first gradually got into the swing of it again. The problem was that the arthritis in my knees was possibly aggravated by this sort of exercise and although I kept it up for about three years and even took part in a few rather pathetic shows in Hove Town Hall and Brunswick Square, I eventually had to give it up when my knees got particularly bad.
I think I went to art because of the influence of Paul in my life. He was so helpful and encouraging about it. He was wonderful at using water-colours, which I had always found so difficult. I tried acrylic paint first and was quite pleased with the result. Mainly I copied photos that I myself had taken for the purpose of painting a scene that I had personally witnessed. This did not seem like copying someone else's work. When I tried water colour it was not too good, but by the end of the year it was improving quite a lot and I spent quite a lot of time and money in the Brighton art shops, buying equipment and materials. However when Paul was not around this enthusiasm gradually dwindled, but at least I have the paintings to prove that it did once occur. Ted wanted to get into the act and holding the far end of the paintbrush gingerly between his thumb and forefinger, painted a banana in acrylic paint. He calls this his 'fruit' period, and says that one day he will try a strawberry!
Ted was still paying rent for his Tunbridge Wells flat and he decided this was too much of a waste and as there was no room in the Hove flat for any of his furniture we delivered the bed, wardrobe and various other bits to the Ilford flat and eventually it went to the flat in Lewisham which Michael was to buy later.
That Christmas June R and I received bonuses of £100 each. This was also something new to me. I traded in my old camera and bought a really good automatic Canon SLR that could cope with action, portraits and miniature photography.
One Saturday on my way down the road to Blossoms for breakfast with Jenny P, I bumped into Graham K of all people, who had yet again disappeared from my life. I thought he would never know that I had moved away. Also I never knew where he was, he could be in jail or in a drug rehabilitation centre as he had previously been, or just about anywhere.
He was very pleased to see me and said he was living in a friend's flat in the Whitehawk area of Brighton. I think it was actually the same friend from a criminal family who he had met when they were the only two charity boys at their posh public school. The whole family had moved to Brighton. He said he was doing window cleaning and he seemed fairly happy. I always wanted to believe everything he said but knew that he had never been truthful and there was always something he was leaving out of any story he told. It seem like some strange fate kept my life intertwined with Graham's. I had known him since he was 2 years old and we had both moved around so much since. He was so unreliable that it was only luck that he had kept finding me again and again and it seemed quite amazing that we should both have moved to Sussex. Perhaps Eileen up in Heaven hoped I would keep an eye on him for her!
It was Cathy's 21st birthday in March and I thought it would be a lovely idea to take her and Paul to the Royal Crescent Hotel in Bath for lunch. I took a week's leave and as Jennifer was in Worcester performing in 'The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb' she said she could drive to Bath too. It was a really lovely hotel, one of the best in Bath and the food was very pretty as well as delicious. I wanted the whole day to be memorable and I believe it was. Jennifer had a special cake made for her iced in black and white like a piano keyboard round the sides. The hotel staff brought it out after the meal as a surprise. Then after lunch, we left Cathy and Paul and Jennifer drove me to Worcester so I could see her show and spend the night in her digs.
When Roger's divorce became final, Jennifer and Roger started to plan their wedding. Roger's children, Chris and Ellie were now 10 and 8 years old respectively. Jennifer was very fond of them and they usually came down to Brighton at alternate weekends. Their home was in Wimbledon with their mother. Chris showed signs of being disturbed at first although Ellie seemed to adjust better. Both children were affectionate and intelligent and had very good manners.
Ellie was a bit worried when she heard about the wedding in case Jennifer might become a wicked stepmother if she married Roger.
I suppose there are always problems with second marriages, stepchildren etc.
The adults can be bitchy and the children can be used as unknowing messengers
of malice.
Roger's wife had met another man whilst still married to Roger and yet she was
resentful about Jennifer. One day Ellie was chatting happily to Jennifer when
she said earnestly 'Oh, Jenny, when I'm grown up, I'd love to be an actress
like you'. 'But' she added sadly 'I know I can't because mummy says I'm too
intelligent!' She of course did not realise at all the significance of what she
had said and Jennifer could not think of a suitable answer which would not
offend Ellie.
Roger could not have a Church of England wedding as he was divorced but as they regularly attended the local church and were friendly with the Vicar, Father David, they wanted to have a church blessing. It would be very similar to an actual wedding, they were assured, except that she and Roger would walk down the aisle together and she would not be 'given away' by her father. The bridesmaids would be Cathy and Ellie.
The wedding blessing was arranged for the Sunday of the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend so that their theatrical (and working!) friends would be able to attend. Roger was in the show 'Buddy' at the Victoria Palace anyway. Cathy and Paul would be on their Whitsun break from college.
Jennifer and Roger had a very interesting idea for the wedding invitation. It would be like a theatre programme, full of puns and dotty humour.
I had a key to the office building and Jennifer and I went in one Saturday afternoon where I typed the invitation using the Freelance programme. It was on both sides of an A4 page and then folded over into A5 size. It follows on the next four pages.
Lifetime Productions Present:
'Marriage
Blessing'
STARRING
(in alphabetical order)
ROGER ALBOROUGH
and
JENNY COULSTON
supporting a cast of thousands
on Sunday 24th May 1992 at 3 pm.
MARRIAGE BLESSING - A Lifetime Production
ACT ONE 'The Marriage Blessing' The action takes place in the
Church of the Annunciation, Washington Street, Brighton.
The time is 3 pm on Sunday 24 May 1992
ACT TWO Later the same day - The Party and Celebration at
77 Islingword Street, Brighton
(There will be an interval of approximately 30 minutes)
CAST LIST
BRIDE Jenny Coulston
GROOM Roger Alborough
MOTHER OF BRIDE Beryl Coulston
FATHER OF BRIDE John Coulston
MOTHER OF GROOM Ethel Alborough
FATHER OF GROOM Arthur Alborough
BEST MAN Derek Howard
BRIDESMAIDS Cathy Coulston
Ellen Alborough
PAGEBOYS Christopher Alborough
Derek Alborough
GYPSY FORTUNE TELLER Helen Wilson
JEWISH FAIRY GODMOTHER Jenny Parkhouse
TOWN CRIER Kiernan Wright
LADY IN WAITING Judith (Hibbert)Thompson
MAN IN PHONE BOOTH Simon Betts
EXOTIC BELLY DANCER Debbi Plumbley
BYSTANDER NO 3 Rachael Phillips
HANG-GLIDER AT BUS STOP John Wyman
ALIEN IN BROTHEL Tim Page
Gift bearers, Acrobats, Drinkers, Dancing girls and fairies, to be played by members of the company, including
......................................................................................................
RSVP/ASAP 77 Islingword Street, Brighton
East Sussex, BN2 2US TEL: 0273 672646
MARRIAGE BLESSING - A Lifetime Production
CREDITS
CAMERAMAN Barbra Coulston
PROPERTY MASTER Paul Alborough
PROMPT Tanya Alborough
DIALOGUE COACHING Bob & Di Wythe
MISS COULSTON'S STAND IN Paul Elliott
UNDERSTUDIES TO BRIDESMAIDS Kim Eastwood & Michael Coulston
HAIR AND MAKE UP Not Kay Smith
GAFFER Roger Penhale
VEHICLES SUPPLIED BY Paul Driver
WARDROBE BY M.F.I.
MR ALBOROUGH's OUTFIT BY Brighton Civic Amenities Tip
FOCUS PULLER Brigitte Altman
KEY GRIP Stirling Rodger
CROWD CONTROL Paul Mills
CASTING DIRECTOR Adrian Reynolds
PRODUCTION ACCOUNTANT Mickey Mouse
SPECIAL EFFECTS (SMOKE) Edward (Ted) of Kent
HANGING BASKETS Philip Foster and Jonathan Kiley
BEST BOY Richard McKendrick
BALLET SEQUENCES Jackie Alborough
WEDDING SCENA Miss Aline Waites
2ND UNIT DIRECTOR (CANADA) Kate Hume
THE CHAP THAT YOU ALWAYS SEE
ON THE EDGE OF THE FILM UNIT,
WHOSE JOB NOBODY KNOWS, BUT WHO
MAKES A GREAT CUP OF COFFEE AND
TELLS QUITE GOOD JOKES Kevin Collins
THEATRE CAT Jasmine
DIRECTOR
Father David
PRODUCER
God
Based on an almost original idea by Steve Bescoby with additional material by
C&H Fabrics.
Billing Disputes arbitrated by Derek Webster and Claire Storey
Artistes International Management (AIM 071 836 2001)
This Production is sponsored by the Licensed Victuallers Assoc.and receives no
grant from the Arts Council or any other body.
It brought forth some amusing replies as well. A selection of these follows:
Dear Jenny and Roger, Herbie is working all day on May 24th but I would be delighted to accept the part of the Jewish Fairy Godmother.
I will enter six feet above you (contract to be arranged with Kirby's Flying Ballet) and fly above you down the aisle.
I will land down left of you and deliver my Fairy Godmother blessing, then rise again and hover over you both for the rest of the service.
When the service is over, I suggest we (both of you and Father David) fly out over the heads of the congregation and out of the church.
You realise of course that being a Jewish Fairy Godmother, I shall not be
spending too much on your present, but I know an excellent 'end of line' shop
where I should be able to get good value for you. With love from Jenny
-:-:-:-:-:-
Loved the script. See you on the set - dahlings! Love, Kevin and Heather.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Christopher and Lindsey are delighted to play the parts of a Drinker and a
Dancing Girl in the all-star 'Marriage Blessing' of Roger and Jenny, on Sunday
24th May 1992 at 3pm. They are a bit disappointed not to be considered for page
boy and exotic belly dancer, but that's show biz!
-:-:-:-:-:-
Miss B Coulston is prepared on this occasion to play the part of The Mother despite considerable reservations.
She wishes it known that she is not particularly happy about being type-cast in this role which she seems to have been playing for more years than she cares to remember.
She also would like to point out that there are several more meaty parts in the pipeline, which she feels are more challenging, ie a gun-running Mother Superior in a Brazilian convent, a Madame of a Marseilles bordello and an American millionairess touring the world with a 22 year old toyboy.
However, should none of these come up prior to the 24th May, and as this
celebration is rather in the realms of being a charity event, in that so many
of the participants are on the breadline, she can be counted on to appear on
the day.
Hasbina Naigent
-:-:-:-:-:-
Paul Mills and Rosita Yarboy are very happy to accept your invitation to apear
as Crowd Controller and Crowd Controller's Moll on the first night of 'Marriage
Blessing'. The long running farce starring Roger (of the harem) Alborough and
Jenny (Fitzwarren, Fits Alborough) Coulston, at 3 pm on May 24th 1992.
Any acceptance contained in this letter does not constitute a contract.
-:-:-:-:-:-
TO: Roger Alborough, Jenny Coulston
FROM: Roger Penhale, Chief Gaffer
Date: 3rd April 1992
REF: 'Marriage Blessing'
PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT YOUR CALLS FOR SUNDAY 24TH MAY 1992 ARE AS FOLLOWS:
5.00 am EARLY MORNING CALL. TRAVEL TO LOCATION BY BUS
5.30am MAKE-UP
7.00am HAIRDRESSERS FOR WIGS, ETC
8.00am WARDROBE FOR COSTUMES
9.00am RUN THROUGH FOR STUNT DOUBLES ETC.
10.00am FIRST CAMERA RUN THROUGH
11.00am SECOND CAMERA RUN THROUGH
12.00am REHEARSE WITH ANIMALS
1.00pm PRACTISE DANCE ROUTINE
1.30pm LUNCH BREAK (DON'T SPILL ANYTHING ON COSTUMES)
2.30pm STAND-BY ON SET
3.00pm LIVE RECORDING WITH DEAD AUDIENCE (CANNED APPLAUSE AT EDITING STAGE)
I HOPE THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE MAKES SENSE, IF ANY PROBLEMS PLEASE DO NOT
HESITATE TO CONTACT ME AT THE OFFICE.
PLEASE NOTE THAT YOUR FACILITY FEE OF £50 COVERS ALL OF THE ABOVE AND THAT
OVERTIME IS ONLY PAID IF YOU WORK MORE THAN THIRTY FIVE HOURS NON-STOP. I SHALL
BE PRESENT AT 2.45 TO CHECK THAT ALL IS OK.
ROGER PENHALE, CHIEF GAFFER
-:-:-:-:-:-
Dear Jenny and Roger
Hail, beloveds, and blessed be! As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see a gypsy fortune teller arriving - on time - at the Church of the Annunciation to behold the handfasting rite of the lady Jenny and her lord, Roger.
And then, with no less celerity than thought, our scene transports itself to 77, where the well-loved chorus 'I conjure thee, oh meal' floats on the late afternoon air.
The glass is clouding over now but I dimly perceive on the backdrop, the
legend 'our revels now are ended', and the show ends with a resouding chorus of
'Blessed be, oh pair'. With love and magic wishes, Helen XXX
-:-:-:-:-:-
and from Michael:
Medical Centre
Erith, Kent
2 May 1992
Points of View
Typecasting House
BRIGHTON
Dear Points of View
I really feel I must protest at the scheduling of 'Marriage Blessing' at the ridiculously early hour of 3.00 pm on Sunday 24th May.
With its daring mixture of sex, building materials and long life milk cartons, Lifetime Production's latest venture is clearly aimed at an audience which is likely to be spending the previous Saturday night in a village on the outskirts of Nottingham.
However, due to the thoughtlessness of the schedulers, these are precisely the people who will find the most difficulty in arriving in Brighton on time.
In my own (I think not untypical) case, it will be necessary to put on a suit at about 6.00 am, find a local bus that will get me to central Nottingham, catch a train at 8.25, change at Bedford, change again at Gatwick and finally arrive in Brighton at 1.04 pm. This will also mean having carried a suit to work the previous Friday and carried it to Nottingham in the evening.
This is yet another example of minority views being sidelined by Lifetime Productions. It is an obvious case of discrimination against a large proportion of the likely audience.
So, wake up Lifetime Productions! Let's have a schedule that caters for the sizeable number of people who will be spending Saturday night in a village on the outskirts of Nottingham and will have difficulty getting to Brighton.
Yours sincerely
Loud Bothersome old B*gger
of the London Borough of Bexley.
-:-:-:-:-:-
I did not think that Nanny and Granddad would be able to attend, although I am
sure they would have liked to be there. In 1989 Nanny had gone out to a
restaurant with the family to celebrate Cathy's eighteenth birthday. She had
been eighty one then and was dizzy and had double vision and was extremely
shaky. She did not like to go out at all. The deterioration in her health had
happened gradually. In 1985 they had celebrated their golden wedding which was
at Barbra's house. All had seemed well then although Nanny's short term memory
had started to deteriorate. They had even gone on their last holiday in 1987.
But although Granddad seemed quite fit for his age, apart from an attack of
shingles, the after effects of which had lasted for an excessively long time,
Nanny would never have been able to make such a long journey let alone cope
with the wedding crowds and confusion. John still did not appear to have any
serious relationship with any woman but I knew I must now tell them about Ted,
especially since John and Ted would meet at the wedding.
I was a bit worried about telling them, but they took a kindly interest and asked if Ted were a stable type and said they were pleased for me. Nanny's memory was such that she would not have remembered what I said for very long but Granddad listened very carefully to everything I said and I showed him a photo of Ted.
Jennifer had always loved the idea of a period wedding dress and a few months earlier she had gone to London with her friend Helen to look for one. When I asked her later if she had found a suitable dress, she said 'yes' and when I asked 'where?' she said 'in my wardrobe!'
Apparently Helen had reminded her that many years before, in the 'Trevor' time, she was sure that Jennifer had actually bought a period wedding dress. When Jennifer looked in her packed wardrobe amongst her show clothes, there it was and all she had to do was get new pearl buttons put on it and slight alterations made by a dressmaker. It was ivory antique silk and buttoned right up to the neck with long sleeves with pointed ends and it had a rather medieval look. Jennifer made flower-ring head dresses, in white for herself and peach for the two bridesmaids to match their peach Laura Ashley dresses.
My West Indian friend Lorna from the Union had taken up speciality cake making as a sideline and so she was commissioned to make the wedding cake which was in the shape of a grand piano and she did it beautifully and was to bring it down on the Blessing morning.
At the same time as the wedding plans were going ahead, BT was attempting to
shed thousands of workers from its ranks in order to become even more
profitable. The so-called Release 92 terms were exceptionally generous and BT
hoped that this would tempt people to leave 'voluntarily'. I had never thought
of leaving and in fact had been rather afraid of ever being 'targetted' for
redundancy. However, when I read the terms and realised I would not only be
able to pay off the entire mortgage but I would also receive a pension immediately,
based on double my actual length of service, sixteen years instead
of eight, I began to consider it seriously. The most appealing thing about this
idea was that I might be able to care better for my mother who had again hinted
that she hated the sheltered flat and was thinking of coming over yet again. I
knew she did not like to be left alone too long and I reasoned that if I only
worked part time and had a small pension and no mortgage to pay, things would
not be too bad and perhaps I should volunteer to leave. Sheila's boss was very
pleased when I spoke to him. He said he had been told by those above him that
he should try to shed at least two people from his quota and he was very glad I
was interested, although he naturally said all the usual things about being
sorry to see me go. I felt the enormity of what I was doing as I sat in
Brunswick Square that Spring day.
On 30 July 1992, exactly eight years to the day after I started there, some 27,000 people all over the country left BT and I was one of them.
Going back to early May, Jennifer and Roger had their Registry Office wedding in Brighton which had to take place before the Blessing. It was a beautiful day and I had chosen a good astrological day for the legal part of their marriage which happened to be two weeks before the Blessing. The Registry Office is just near the Royal Pavilion which was a lovely setting for the photos to commemorate the day.
Between the civil marriage and the Blessing, I had to go back into Moorfields Hospital for one final operation. This was to remove the plastic thing which had held the tear together for the past two and a half years. It felt heavy in my eye and it was not necessary any more. I was worried that I would have bruising on the big day, but it wore off very quickly.
The day before the Blessing, family and friends started to gather in Brighton. Roger's people from Winchester went to their house and helped with preparing the food. It was decided that Ellie and Jennifer would stay at our flat the night before as well as Jennifer's friend from Devon. Chris stayed with his father and the family in Brighton. I did not know until much later that Chris was upset and said he did not want to go to the wedding as his father was breaking his vows to his mother. Roger said he would not force him to do anything he didn't want to and explained a few things to him and soon he said 'OK I'll come'. There was no room for Cathy and Paul so they went and slept at Jenny P's house not far away.
Barbra had just bought a video camera and she and Alan arrived in Hove at about 11.30 am. Alan was to drive Jennifer to the church as he had a better car than anyone else at the time. In Barbra's video it's nice to see all the preparations and everyone dressing. Jennifer at one time was sitting in the passage making the flowers into bouquets for the three of them. Paul sat doing sketches of all the activities that were going on. Jennifer also did Cathy's and Ellie's hair. Michael arrived looking sweaty and distraught as he had come a long way and had had to cope with Sunday train services from Nottingham (see his aforementioned response to his invitation).
Sheila from work gave out the hymn books at the back of the church and there was an awkward moment for me when Ted and John stood facing outwards from each other like an inverted 'V' and it reminded me of that long-ago day in Durban when Graham and Rodney had both turned up at Christmas and stood on the balcony in the same position. I did not introduce them as Ted said he did not want to speak to John and didn't like him, I think mainly because he had seen how often Cathy had been upset by him in the Walthamstow days.
Cathy sang two songs at the wedding and Jennifer's agent who was in the congregation said he would act for her if she liked, as soon as she finished college in July. Cathy had a very powerful soprano voice which always amazed people as she looked so small and fragile.
It was a happy do-it-yourself sort of wedding. It reminded me of perhaps an Italian village wedding especially when Jennifer and Roger in their finery walked up the steep hill to their house after the service. People cheered out of windows and I have a photo of them passing a bus stop with several plastic rubbish bags against the walls of people's houses clearly in view.
I was rather concerned that the reception was to be held in their rather small house. The garden too was very small. I even worried that the ceiling might fall in and decided that we would not go into the house very much until some of the people started to leave. This was fine as an idea and after the ceremony Lorna and Kalvin, Michael, Ted and I all went to the park for an hour or two. Barbra and Alan also disappeared for a while. The problem was that by the time we returned there was no food left! In fact, only about 90 of the invited 120 people arrived.
It was lucky it was such a warm day as several people had to sit outside on the pavement in their best clothes for part of the time. I missed John's 'father of the bride' speech whilst at the park. Apparently he said something about Roger being fine as a son-in-law if he lost weight and didn't drink and smoke so much. This was meant to be funny but I think it didn't go down too well with Roger.
A few days after the wedding Cathy was doing her graduation recital and I went to Bath via an overnight stay in Devon with my friend and benefactor, Margaret, (the Archbishop's cousin) who had moved away from the London when she had married. She was now widowed. She fetched me from Tiverton Parkway station and it was a long drive to her lovely cottage in the middle of nowhere. She did not mind living alone and so cut off from civilisation. She had a beautiful garden but unfortunately had bad arthritis and was not able to cope with it without help any more. I enjoyed talking to her that evening.
It was nice to know that someone from such a privileged background could still be rather left of centre politically. I had always imagined her as having been happily married but she told me that her husband had gone slightly mad after being difficult for a long time, and she had been warned that he might become dangerous and would have to be taken into care, but he had died before this happened. I mentioned earlier that he knew my cousin Ann who worked with costumes and decor in theatre. He was involved with lighting and they had met at a show at Wembley in the 1960s. He had been a charming man when I first met him so I was very sorry to hear how he had ended his days.
The next day I went to Bath and stayed in my usual B&B. I am rather a philistine musically and much prefer Gershwin and Kern to Mozart and Beethoven, so I did not expect to actually enjoy Cathy's very classical singing recital, although I was of course very proud of her. Paul and I sat together and she sang I think three songs. The final one was so dramatic and her voice was so amazing and powerful that I burst into tears totally without warning as she finished. Paul looked at me in amazement. I had to find a tissue and felt a bit silly when we emerged into the lobby of the hall. Another mother saw me and said 'Don't worry, I was sick when my daughter did her recital yesterday'.
Just before I left BT in July Cathy's actual graduation ceremony took place. John was supposed to be going, which was fair as I had been to the recital, but he and Cathy had a disagreement over something and at the last moment, he said he would not go. I was on the early shift at work that day but when a lady in the office heard that Cathy was graduating, she said she would handle the phone calls until June R got in and that I must go to Bath immediately. It was a mad rush, I raced home, changed my clothes, got the Southampton train and changed to the Bath train, then caught a taxi from Bath station to the Assembly Rooms and got there about twenty minutes before the ceremony started. Cathy looked amazed and pleased to see me. Paul luckily brought the two tickets with him that had been reserved for himself and John and I was very pleased to be there and see her with her cap and gown, and at such a prestigious venue, mentioned in so many Regency novels.
Paul and Cathy had to leave their rented Bath house, as it was only let to students and so they went to live officially in the Ilford flat which now contained Ted's furniture from his Tunbridge Wells flat. However they often stayed down in Hove too during that Summer.
I had often said to Ted that he should write to his estranged younger daughter, Lesley, and ask her to come and visit us. He did this but at first she seemed a bit reluctant and possibly worried about meeting me and embarrassed at the long gap since she had last seen her father. However she and Lauren , then about three or four, did eventually come down for the day. She was very gentle and quiet and Lauren was quite a character and seemed very bright. Paul and Cathy were there too and we all went to the Lanes in Brighton and had lunch and then went to the beach and behaved like tourists generally. I was so pleased for Ted that this reconciliation happened and am very fond of both Lesley and Lauren.
When I left BT, I paid off my mortgage and bought a computer for my home use as I knew I would find it hard to live without one. I had enough money over to be able to pay towards my mother's flight if she needed it. I was not sure if I had quite enough to go over and bring her myself, as I had to be sensible now my income would be so greatly reduced. The problem was solved when Rajie said she would bring my mother and stay for a month's holiday as she had always wanted to see England and especially London.
She had a little money towards her fare and I paid the rest. They planned to
come the next Spring in April 1993 so I had several months to get ready. I knew
how nervous my mother was, partly because of being used to South Africa where
all windows usually have bars on them, even upstairs ones. I paid to have bars
on certain windows so they could still be opened for fresh air, and I put a
lock on her bedroom door as I knew she would want that. Then I bought a
contraption to help older people pull themselves out of the bath and had the
front window secondary glazed. Paul helped me put our own do-it-yourself double
glazing on the front door and I felt the flat was reasonably secure.
Graham K used to visit quite regularly. He liked reading and used to borrow
books and bring them back a few days later. I told him about our push button
system which would open the door from the entry phone and this may have been a
mistake.
When we went out there was a mortice lock as well which we normally used but one day I took a chance and went out for about two hours in the afternoon without bothering to use the extra lock. Ted came home at about 5 pm and later when we turned the television on, there was no picture; it was as if the aerial had been removed. I thought perhaps it was something to do with the video recorder and when we looked in the space where it ought to have been, it was empty. We just looked at it and each other, quite stupified. The video control was missing too. We rushed out the room and I looked in the hall where I had left the wonderful camera I had bought with my Christmas bonus. It too was missing. Then Ted found his watch was gone and so was my engagement ring which John had given me years before and which I naturally no longer wore.
It never occurred to me at the time that it might be Graham K and of course I am still not sure, but something the policeman said made me suspicious. Dominic upstairs had 'seen something'. The policeman asked if I now knew who the burglar was and I said 'of course not' but he did not seem very friendly. Dominic must often have seen Graham K walking up and down our basement steps and perhaps when questioned about that particular afternoon had said that he had seen a person who was a constant visitor of ours. The police said that entryphone locks were extremely easy to pick. Also there was no damage done and nothing taken that the insurance would not replace so it was rather a considerate sort of burglary!
I was still very much in touch with the Hove BT people and even occasionally went back to work there on a casual basis and I received a set of poems about the burglary, of which Sheila's was the best:
Beryl's flat was in a raid
'Cos Mercury was retrograde
'Never mind' said poor old Ted
'At least they didn't take the shed.'